You Deserve To Feel Confident & Worthy

On the outside, you seem to have it all together. A secure and well paying job, attended a school, live in a nice home, and surrounded by friends and family who care for you. 

On the inside, things are different. You feel anxious, confused, and uncertain. It’s hard for you to feel comfortable in your own body.

When someone gives you positive feedback or compliment, your first reaction is to dismiss, reject it, or laugh awkwardly. 

When you receive a promotion or recognition, it’s hard to believe that you truly deserve it. Perhaps it’ll be taken away eventually. You think something bad will happen eventually.

When someone gives you feedback or criticism, it’s hard not to take it personally because it is personal.

You end up ruminating and thinking about what you could’ve done differently. You just want things to be perfect and for everyone to like you. 

Are These Common Questions & Statements?

• I’m not sure what I want or who I am

• I tend to focus on others’ needs and wants

• Asking for what I need is scary

• I want everyone to like me

• Conflict, disagreements, and tension makes me uncomfortable so I just avoid it

• I need this to be perfect because failure is not an option

• I have high expectations of myself

• It’s so hard to relax, de-stress, and just enjoy life

• I’m not worthy of so many things I have

What is Self Esteem?

• Self-esteem is how you feel and think about yourself.

• Congruence: The inside matches the outside. You’re able to accept compliments about your strengths and vilifies while also accepting your flaws and areas of growth.

• Having good self esteem can increase life satisfaction, increase joy, and helps with emotional resilience.

Common Symptoms Of Low Self Esteem

Self Criticism & Judgement

• You learned to survive by attacking yourself through self judgement, criticism, and demands.

• While this has worked in the past for a short time, it is not a long term solution.

People Pleasing

• You seek constant validation and approval from others.

Difficulty Saying No

• You say yes to everything, even when you don’t want to.

Difficulty Accepting Compliments

• You find it hard to believe what others tell you.

• You laugh, minimize, or push away compliments.

Impostor Syndrome

• You feel out of place, never good enough, and like you don’t belong.

Guilt & Shame

• You feel bad about yourself.

• You compare yourself to others quite a bit.

Internal Conflicts

• You have multiple conflicting parts inside who struggle in a double bind.

• You’re screwed if you do this, you’re screwed if you don’t do this.

Exhaustion & Fatigue

• You’re tired from putting on a mask, pleasing others, and constant comparison.

What Can Cause Low Self Esteem?

• Growing up poor or in scarcity

• Growing up in a society that tells you that you are not enough or flawed in some way

• Growing up in an environment that is invalidating, rejecting, abusive, and/or harmful

• Being made to feel like a burden

• Physical or emotional abuse

• Neglect

• Adoption

• Being bullied

• Being repeatedly belittled, judged, and/or criticized

• Comparing yourself to others

• Perfectionism

• Internal locus of control (believing one is responsible for their success due to hard work vs. considering external factors and stressors)

• Negative self talk

• Cognitive distortions (focusing on only the bad, labeling yourself, binary thinking, catastrophizing, mind reading)

• Unrealistic expectations

• Social media

Therapy For Self Esteem Can Help You

✔️ Self Acceptance: Embrace yourself for all parts of yourself.

✔️ Learn Coping Skills: Cope with challenges and setbacks with relaxation techniques, problem-solving strategies, and ways to manage stress.

✔️ Trust in yourself more and rely less on external validation, approval, and feedback.

✔️ Increase Positive Self Talk: You can learn to beat self criticism by using self compassion and encouragement.

✔️ Accept Compliments: Recognizing your accomplishments builds confidence and reminds you of your capabilities.

✔️ Resilience: When you have a strong belief in yourself, setbacks and failures become learning opportunities. You bounce back from difficult situations and keep going.

✔️ Increase Emotional Well-Being: Self-esteem helps you develop a positive outlook on life and handle stress more effectively.

✔️ Increase Self Compassion: Learn to meet yourself with unconditional love, even when life happens. You'll learn to treat yourself with the same kindness you would show a good friend.

✔️ Create A Life Worth Living: Create community with people you care about, find a career that sustains you financially and emotionally, and spend time engaging in activities in alignment with your values.

Healing Is Possible

There is hope.

You can increase your sense of Self (acceptance, worth, esteem, love).

The world is an expansive place and there is enough space for you in it.

You can learn to take up more space, feel more confident, and meet yourself more with compassion and acceptance.

I’ve worked with many survivors of childhood trauma who now have more peace, joy, freedom in their lives.

I work with therapists and social workers who are wounded healers.

I work with professionals who feel exhausted, overwhelmed, burnt out, and want to take better care of themselves.

I work with individuals who are dating or in relationships and want to create and sustain healthier and more satisfying relationships.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation.