How To Identify Your Feelings
What Are Emotions?
“Emotions are a process, a particular kind of automatic appraisal influenced by our evolutionary and personal past, in which we sense that something important to our welfare is occurring, and a set of psychological changes and emotional behaviors begins to deal with the situation." - Paul Ekman, PhD
Why Do We Have Emotions?
Helps us makes decisions and move us toward actions
There’s a bus driving toward you —> Get out of the way! Run!
Someone gives you a gift you really enjoy —> You feel warm, tender, and loving. You want to express gratitude to them (e.g. words, hug, eye contact)
To communicate to ourselves
That something is going on internally
That we should pay attention to this emotion
Sometimes, these feelings can be false or misleading
To communicate to others (and influence them)
To let others know how we feel
To then make requests/assert our needs to others
Core Emotions (Paul Eckman)
Of all the human emotions we experience, there are seven universal emotions that we all feel, transcending language, regional, cultural, and ethnic differences.
Anger
Contempt
Disgust
Enjoyment
Fear
Sadness
Surprise
Emotions When Needs Are Met
The following is from Non Violent Communication.
They are words we use when we want to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self‐discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.
There are two parts to this list: feelings we may have when our needs are being met and feelings we may have when our needs are not being met.
Affectionate
Engaged
Confident
Grateful
Peaceful
Excited
Inspired
Joyful
Hopeful
Exhilarated
Refreshed
Emotions When Needs Are Not Met
Afraid
Confused
Embarrassed
Tense
Fatigue
Disconnected
Annoyed
Vulnerable
Pain
Aversion
Disquiet
Sad
Yearning
Identifying Emotions In The Body
Emotions adjust our mental and also bodily states to cope with the challenges detected in the environment.
These sensations arising from the bodily changes are an important feature of our emotional experiences. For example, anxiety may be experienced as pain in the chest, whereas falling in love may trigger warm, pleasurable sensations all over the body. New research from Aalto University reveals, how emotions are literally experienced through the body.
How To Identify Your Feelings
Awareness
Slow down
Build your emotional vocabulary (find words for your feelings)
Name your feelings (write it out, say it loud)
Notice what happens internally or inside your body when you feel a certain emotion
Practice (it takes repetition for something new to become habitual)
Benefits of Identifying Your Emotions
Increased sense of Self
You know who you are
Managing overwhelm
You learn how to cope with difficult feelings
Stronger relationships
You get along better with others
Emotional intelligence
Increased empathy
Able to work with a variety types of people