Resistance & Protection

• “The best resistance is the one you do not see”

• There’s nothing wrong with resistance or protectors

• We are all resistant in some manner because we want to protect ourselves

We are all resistant and ambivalanet to change

• Change is hard

• Change is scary

• Change is painful

• Change requires work

• Change requires practice

• Change requires consistency

• Triggers anxiety and reluctance

  • “Can things be different?”

• Easier to stay the same

• And more

Human Beings are Hard-Wired To Avoid Pain

• Pain is very unpleasant

• Of course, we will automatically avoid pain through various methods like distraction, fantasizing, self deception, denial, etc.

Cycle of Change

• Change occurs on a continuum

• Pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, relapse

• We will expectedly regress and relapse

Examples of Resistance & Defenses

• Mandated. Those sent to therapy against their will

  • “I don’t want to be here”

• Absent clients or those consistently late

  • “I’m not coming back to see you”

• Silent clients or won’t talk

  • “I have nothing to discuss”

• Blamers

  • “This is all X’s fault”

• Self critical clients

  • “I can’t do anything right”

• Critical clients

  • “You can’t do anything right”

• People pleasers

  • “Everything is great”

  • “What do you need?”

• Uncertainty or vagueness

  • “I’m not sure”

  • “I don’t know”

• High expectations

  • Expects X of you as the therapist

  • Expects you to solve their problems for them

• And more

Avoid

• Client criticism

• Client judgement

• Identifying the client with their resistance or methods of protection

  • “You’re avoidant” vs. “Do you see how you push me away when I try to ask you questions and get to know you?”

• Harshness

• Assuming and mind reading what the client is experiencing

• Going too fast and pushing through despite the client wanting to slow down

• And more

How Do I Work With Client Resistance/Protection?

Can be used in therapy toward change and client’s goals

• Pointing it out/stating the truth or reality vs. ignoring what’s occurring in the therapy room

• Understanding form and function of protectors/resistance (adaptive coping)

• Understand that this is a way into how to help the client if we slow down and practice curiosity. Resistance/protection can be an expression of help seeking for unmet needs/wants

• Outlining the pros and cons

• Ask for permission vs. assuming

• Validation vs judgement

• Compassion vs. criticism

• Refer out for speciality care and/or collaborative care if issues are beyond your expertise and skill set

• And more