How To Say No For People Pleasers & Fawners
What is People Pleasing and Fawning?
Examples of Ways To Say No
Thank you, but I am unable to
Thank you, but I do not want to
Thank you, but I cannot attend/go
I appreciate the invite/offer, but I am busy
Unfortunately, I have another commitment
Unfortunately, I’m booked and busy
I’ll have to take a rain check
I would love to go, but I am unable to
Unfortunately, I have something else to do at that time
The event sounds great, but I will pass
No, thanks
No, thank you
I’m not interested, but thank you
I’m sorry, but I can’t
I’m sorry, but I don’t want to
Sorry, I can’t’ make it
I’m afraid I can’t
I can’t fit that in right now
While I would love to go, I won’t be able to
No
Nope
That isn’t possible
No can do
Not at the moment
Not right now
I’d like to think about it and get back to you in a few days
Can I let you know in a few days?
Can you ask me in a few days/weeks?
Maybe we can do that in a few weeks/months
How about another time? I’m free on X
I’m busy currently, but maybe in X
I’m not sure this would be good idea/option/fit
I don’t think I’m the right person for this idea/option/fit/experience
I’m not able to take on this new experience/role/job at this time
I’ve got too much on my plate right now
I’m slammed and exhausted
I’m spread thin
Reminders
Stop saying yes instantaneously. Wait before you speak
WAIT. Why am I talking?
WAIST. Why am I still talking?
You can change your mind and boundary at any time
Regulate your nervous system before, during, and after
Focus on yourself first
Keep your reply short and concise. Avoid over explaining
Trust your instinct and gut
Practice negotiating if you do want to go/attend, but are unable to. Offer alternatives, let them know times that works for your schedule
Take time to reflect and think, but don’t procrastinate and avoid
Practice over and over. It will become easier
Understand what happens inside of you when feel bad and take over others’ feelings
Understand the consequences of people pleasing and focusing on others. There is an expense to yourself.
Become more aware of where the need to people please and fawn comes from and how it helped you survive and manage discomfort.