How To Say No For People Pleasers & Fawners

What is People Pleasing and Fawning?

Examples of Ways To Say No

  • Thank you, but I am unable to

  • Thank you, but I do not want to

  • Thank you, but I cannot attend/go

  • I appreciate the invite/offer, but I am busy

  • Unfortunately, I have another commitment

  • Unfortunately, I’m booked and busy

  • I’ll have to take a rain check

  • I would love to go, but I am unable to

  • Unfortunately, I have something else to do at that time

  • The event sounds great, but I will pass

  • No, thanks

  • No, thank you

  • I’m not interested, but thank you

  • I’m sorry, but I can’t

  • I’m sorry, but I don’t want to

  • Sorry, I can’t’ make it

  • I’m afraid I can’t

  • I can’t fit that in right now

  • While I would love to go, I won’t be able to

  • No

  • Nope

  • That isn’t possible

  • No can do

  • Not at the moment

  • Not right now

  • I’d like to think about it and get back to you in a few days

  • Can I let you know in a few days?

  • Can you ask me in a few days/weeks?

  • Maybe we can do that in a few weeks/months

  • How about another time? I’m free on X

  • I’m busy currently, but maybe in X

  • I’m not sure this would be good idea/option/fit

  • I don’t think I’m the right person for this idea/option/fit/experience

  • I’m not able to take on this new experience/role/job at this time

  • I’ve got too much on my plate right now

  • I’m slammed and exhausted

  • I’m spread thin

Reminders

  • Stop saying yes instantaneously. Wait before you speak

    • WAIT. Why am I talking?

    • WAIST. Why am I still talking?

  • You can change your mind and boundary at any time

  • Regulate your nervous system before, during, and after

  • Focus on yourself first

  • Keep your reply short and concise. Avoid over explaining

  • Trust your instinct and gut

  • Practice negotiating if you do want to go/attend, but are unable to. Offer alternatives, let them know times that works for your schedule

  • Take time to reflect and think, but don’t procrastinate and avoid

  • Practice over and over. It will become easier

  • Understand what happens inside of you when feel bad and take over others’ feelings

  • Understand the consequences of people pleasing and focusing on others. There is an expense to yourself.

  • Become more aware of where the need to people please and fawn comes from and how it helped you survive and manage discomfort.

Previous
Previous

Stages of Healing From Childhood Trauma

Next
Next

Childhood Trauma & Emotional Neglect Therapy