Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship
What is Emotional Abuse?
Ongoing and consistent pattern of non-physical behaviors meant to control, isolate, or scare you
This can include:
Threats
Insults
Judgements
Monitoring
Jealously
Manipulation
Intimidation
Humiliation
Dismissiveness
Gaslighting
And more
Not a one time incident (occurs over and over consistently )
Examples of Emotional Abuse
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is an intentional and consistent practice of having an individual doubt/distort their reality, perception, memory, and sanity and/or convincing an individual of things that did not occur. The goal is for the individual to rely on their abuser.
Gaslighting is not a one time practice, rather something that occurs ongoing for a period of time.
Makes you doubt yourself (you lose trust in yourself including your intuition, feelings, and sensations)
Makes you doubt your reality (you lose trust in your perception)
This term comes from the play Gaslight where the main character is gaslit
Examples of Gaslighting
I never said that
You did X this before. Don’t you remember?
Your memory is not reliable.
You are going crazy.
Verbal Abuse
Making fun of you
“You’re so stupid”
“You’re so dumb”
“You’re ugly”
“No one will want you”
“You’re lucky I’m with you”
“Don’t eat that. You’re getting fatter”
Isolation
You are forbidden from seeing your friends and family
You live in an area that is far away from your support system and you didn’t want to move there
Monitoring
Your spending (credit card bill, bank statements, cash)
Your phone calls, text messages, emails, etc.)
Your social media accounts (likes, messages, posts, etc.)
Threats & Bullying
“No one will believe you”
“If you leave me, I will …”
“I will take away your…if you…”
“I will not give you money if you…”
“You rely on me for everything, you’ll be helpless without me”
Controlling & Possessive
Monitoring who you talk to
Monitoring what you do on a daily basis
Contacting you constantly
Monitoring your time
Monitoring your actions and where you go and what you do
Ignoring Boundaries
Checking your phone without your permission (texts, social media, phone calls)
Pushing you to move the relationship quicker than you want to
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Lower Self esteem
Insecurity
Uncertainty
Anxiety
Stress
Panic and worry
Over apologizing
Over explaining
Feeling depressed and anxious
Mistrust of others
Withdrawing from others and activities
Difficulties managing emotions
Shame
Guilt
And more
Ways You Can Begin Healing From Emotional Abuse
Become aware of emotional abuse
Understand what emotional is
Learn about the impacts of emotional abuse
Seek social help to feel less alone in your experiences
Seek professional help
Practice self compassion
Befriend your nervous system
Understand and explore your personal needs/wants (healthy boundaries)
Focus on yourself and what you can do in your control (versus what others can do for you)
Engage in self care
Engage in community care
Support Groups & Getting Help For Emotional Abuse
Resources for Emotional Abuse
