Tips On How To Support Someone With Avoidant Attachment
Tip #1: Educate Yourself On Avoidant Attachment
Learn more about adult attachment styles and how this shows up in a person and relationship
Learn how attachment styles impact one another in a romantic relationship (avoidant partner with anxious partner, anxious partner with anxious partner, avoidant partner with avoidant partner, etc.)
You can read books, articles, listen to podcasts, and browse the resources below at the bottom of this page
Attachment styles
Avoidant attachment
Tip #2: Understand Avoidance Is A Form Of Self Regulation
Self regulation is a skill used to manage overwhelming thoughts and feelings
Avoidance strategies can include the following:
Going inside/internally
Pulling away
Withdrawing
Isolation
Needing time
Needing space alone and away from others
Needing physical and emotional distance
And more
Tip #3: Respect Their Boundaries & Understand Your Own Boundaries
Ask them what their boundaries are. This can include:
What feels good for you?
What doesn’t feel good for you?
What do you like?
What do you not like?
Understand your own boundaries and ask for what you need
Realize and understand this may not be reciprocated
Understand you cannot change another person
Understand your own limitations
While vulnerability is the goal, it is not expected
Tip #4: Patience & Understanding
Be patient
Avoid pressuring them and making demands
Try to avoid ultimatums and threats
Offer support in a way that is doable for you
Ask questions
Be curious
Give them space
Give them time
Tip #5: Seek Professional & Personal Support
Find a licensed therapist who can help
Seek out a support group
Talk to trusted people, friends, and family
Tip #6: Be Honest Of Your Own Needs & Take Care Of Yourself
It’s important to understand your own limitations
Be honest when things aren’t working for you
Just because
It’s also important for you to take good care of yourself