Asking For Help & Building Community As A Therapist
Ask
To call on for an answer
To make a request of
Help
To give assistance or support to (someone) : to provide (someone) with something that is useful or necessary in achieving an end: improve, relieve
To make more pleasant or bearable
To be of use to: benefit
—
We cannot do this work alone.
While self reliance may have been and still is a survival strategy for you, long term, there are effects.
Often, trauma occurs in relationships, especially with those who were supposed to take care of us
Conversely, trauma recovery and healing can occur in healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.
We are relational creatures.
Our health depends on having and sustaining healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.
Wangari Maathai states: “I’m very conscious of the fact that you can’t do it alone. It’s teamwork. When you do it alone you run the risk that when you are no longer there nobody else will do it.”
Esther Perel states: The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
Dan Siegel states: “We are not meant to live in isolation, but are dependent on one another for emotional well-being.”
Read more here.
What You Can Do
Identify your current support system
Create and sustain a support system.
If you don’t have any friends or suptort, start small with 1 person first and gradually build a relationship.
Find hobbies to engage in. Do a mixture of solo hobbies and hobbies in a group.
Volunteer and do something for others. You’ll feel better personally and will also be giving back which feels good.
Reach out to people you’ve previously had a relationship/friendship that you felt safe, trusted, and overall, enjoyed spending with to see if they want to reconnect. Try not to take it personally too much if they do not respond or do not want to. There could be many reasons why.
Ask for help when you need it
Ask for help before you need it. You don’t always have to be in crisis to need help and support.
Learn why it’s hard/challeging for you to ask for help
Learn why self-reliance or not asking for help is familiar and/or comfortable for you
Resources
Education
Groups
Quora
Discord
Social Media
Support
References
Maathai, W. (2006). The Green Belt Movement : sharing the approach and the experience. Lantern Books.
Siegel, D. J., & Hartzell, M. (2005). Parenting from the inside out. Jeremy P Tarcher.