What Causes Family Dysfunction?

Apr 13

Written By Canh Tran

What is Family Dysfunction?

Family should be a source of love, support, and nurturing. However, not all families operate in a healthy and functional manner.
Family dysfunction refers to patterns of consistent and ongoing unhealthy behaviors, communication breakdowns, and unresolved conflicts within a family unit.
When dysfunctional dynamics persist over time, they can contribute to trauma, leaving lasting emotional and psychological effects on individuals.

Healthy & Unhealthy Families

Healthy families are not perfect. Imperfection like conflict, misunderstanding, tension, chaos, and fights are common from time to time.
No family is perfect. There will be periods of time in a family where dysfunction occurs due to stressors and life transitions.

What is Abuse?

Abuse is characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another person to behavior that may result in psychological issues, including anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological.
A sample list:
- Bullying
- Hitting
- Pushing
- Restraining
- Screaming
- Blaming
- Manipulating
- Ignoring
- Shaming
- Threatening
- And more

Understanding Family Dysfunction

Understanding the common family roles in dysfunctional families provides insights into complex dynamics existing within the environment.
Familial roles are not fixed, and individuals can transition between roles or embody multiple roles simultaneously. Recognizing these patterns can be a first step in breaking free from dysfunctional family dynamics and seeking healthier relationships.
Within a family, each member often plays a unique role that contributes to the overall functioning of the unit.

Understanding Healthy Families

In healthy families, familial roles are typically flexible and balanced, allowing for growth and harmonious relationships.
However, in dysfunctional families, certain roles emerge as a result of problematic dynamics.
Understanding these roles can shed light on the complex dynamics that exist within dysfunctional families.

How Is Stress & Pressure Released?

Every family releases pressure and stress in different ways. It is whether stress is released in a healthy and helpful manner that dictates a healthy family system.
If there is a pattern on consistent and ongoing release in an unhealthy way, this will create dysfunction within a family over time.
Some families talk about their stress and worries and allow others to share their thoughts and feelings.
Other families may not talk about their stress and instead sit in silence, internalize, or push down their thoughts and feelings as if nothing is happening.
Some other families use substances to numb their thoughts and feelings when they feel stressed.
Some families use abuse, neglect, manipulation, pushing, yelling, threats, demands to release their stress.

Causes of Family Dysfunction

The Drama Triangle

The Drama Triangle is a model of dysfunctional social interaction, created by psychotherapist Stephen Karpman.

Each point on the triangle represents a common and ineffective response to conflict, one more likely to prolong disharmony than to end it.

Often blamed for the family's problems.
They may be the target of criticism, ridicule, or punishment, regardless of their actual involvement in the issues at hand.
The scapegoat is often seen as the troublemaker or the black sheep of the family, bearing the brunt of the dysfunctional dynamics.

Tends to withdraw and isolate themselves from family conflicts or tension.
They may be introverted and shy, often seeking solace in solitary activities.
This role allows them to escape the chaos and drama within the family.
The lost child may become skilled at being self-sufficient and developing a rich inner world, but they may also struggle with forming close relationships outside the family.

Often seen as the overachiever within the family unit.
They strive for perfection, seeking to maintain a positive image for the family.
They may excel academically, participate in numerous extracurricular activities, or take on a significant amount of responsibility at a young age.
The hero's role is often a response to the dysfunction within the family, as they try to compensate for the problems by appearing successful and reliable.

Uses humor and clowning around as a way to alleviate tension and distract from the underlying problems.
They may resort to making jokes or acting silly to diffuse conflicts or to gain attention.
The mascot plays the role of the entertainer, using humor as a defense mechanism to cope with the dysfunction within the family.

Usually the responsible and nurturing family member who takes on the role of looking after others' needs and feels the weight of the family’s problems.
They often prioritize taking care of others over their own well-being (AKA martyr).
The caretaker may assume the responsibilities of parenting younger siblings or even the parents themselves.
While their intentions may be genuine, the caretaker can become overwhelmed and neglect their own emotional and developmental needs.

Manipulates and controls others to maintain their power within the family system.
They may use tactics such as manipulation, guilt-tripping, or intimidation to exert control over family members.
The mastermind often seeks to maintain the dysfunctional status quo and can perpetuate the cycle of dysfunction within the family.

How are problems and disagreements addressed in your family? Are they?
Who usually brings up problems first?
Who is the most outwardly stressed person in your family?
Who is the most inwardly stressed person?
Is there a mediator in your family?
What role do you inhabit in your family?
What would happen if you stopped or engaged less in your family role?
How is love and care shown in your family?
Do you feel able to ask for help from your family members?
Are there topics in your family that are not discussed openly?
How are differences handled in your family? This could be differences in beliefs, religion, faith, sexuality, gender, and so forth.

Canh Tran

How To Overcome Growing Up In A Dysfunctional Family