Online Marriage Counseling In Seattle, Washington
What is Marriage Counseling?
Counseling or therapy focused on marital issues where both people are treated at the same time
Marriage counseling is focused on concerns and issues between the couple affecting their marriage
Common Marriage Counseling Issues
Life transitions such as loss, infertility, moving, starting a new job, going back to school, etc.
Illness and medical emergencies
Parenting
Empty nest syndrome
Infidelity
Divorce or separation
Frequent conflicts and fights
Communication and miscommunication issues
Growing apart emotionally
Falling out of love
Financial difficulties and problems
Substance use
Sexual dissatisfaction, desire, and misalignment
Common Mistakes Married People Make
Expecting their partner to do and be everything for them (“You should just know…”)
Holding and keeping secrets
Lying
Withholding information
Not communicating effectively
Fear of talking about difficult or challenging topics such as money, sex, intimacy, conflict, differences
Wanting your partner to be a psychic/magician/mind read/assume what they are feeling and/or thinking
Wanting your partner to anticipate your needs and wants
Blaming your partner and not taking accountability for your part
Keeping score or tally of everything they have done (or not done)
“I always do the laundry…”
“I’m never late to your appointments..”
“I always make you dinner…”
Keeping score or tally of everything their partner has done (or not done)
“You never clean the dishes..”
“You’re always late to my performances…”
“You never remember my birthday…”
Not playing enough, laughing, smiling, and enjoying the intimate aspects of your relationship
Not expressing gratitude and appreciation for one another consistently
Wanting to be right 100% of the time
Marriage Counseling Can Help You
Learn practical skills including managing conflict and strengthening communication
Provide education on basic relationship knowledge such as patterns, dynamics, and interactions
Increase emotional intimacy and vocabulary
Learn how to communicate and ask for your needs, limits, and boundaries effectively
Understand your triggers and develop strategies to manage them and anticipate them
Practice Self compassion during moments of difficulty rather than relying solely on defensive tactics like intellectualization, compartmentalization, self-criticism, laughter, rumination, or minimizing
Understand your own and your partner’s attachment styles (avoidant, anxious, ambivalent, secure)
Mediation & Neutrality: Your therapist will not take sides and will not tell you who is right or wrong
When Is Marriage Counseling Not Helpful Or Effective?
When there is active domestic violence and intimate partner violence
When there is abuse of any kind including physical, emotional, psychological. Sessions can be used to manipulate the therapist, the survivor, and can make the issues worse and exercerbated
When there is active infidelity or betrayal
When one or both partner is in active addiction or problematic use or behaviors including sex, pornography, gambling, substance use and it is untreated
When one or both partner has an untreated mental health issue
When Is Couples Counseling Most Helpful?
When there is a good fit between the couple and therapist which leads to better trust and a stronger therapeutic relationship (personality fit, cultural fit, approach/style fit, agreement on the goals and what to be worked on)
When the couple is open to learning, feedback, and suggestions
When the couple does the work outside of sessions including trying new skills/tools, experiments, ways of thinking, ways of relating, etc.
When the couple solicits feedback about what is working and does not work in session
When you seek out help as soon as possible. Research Shows Most Couples Wait On Average 7 Years To Seek Out Professional Help
Online Marriage Counseling In Seattle, Washington
Relationships are the foundation of our lives. Esther Perel states, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”.
I am a Seattle based relationship and couples therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Relational Cultural Therapy (RCT).
Improve the quality of your relationships by learning healthy communication skills, ways to assert your boundaries, and stop sabotaging your relationships.
I will help you deepen your mutual understanding and foster a respectful and loving relationship with yourself and your partners (platonic and romantic).
Please reach out today to schedule a consultation.
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