Decolonizing Clinical Supervision: Authenticity & Honoring Our Gifts
Therapy is not about perfection.
Yes, of course, the approach and model of therapy does indeed matter, but it’s largely about the relationship and the connection you have with your therapist.
Poem by Maria Sabina
Cure yourself with the light of the sun and the rays of the moon.
With the sound of the river and the waterfall.
With the swaying of the sea and the fluttering of birds.
Heal yourself with mint, with neem and eucalyptus.
Sweeten yourself with lavender, rosemary, and chamomile.
Hug yourself with the cocoa bean and a touch of cinnamon.
Put love in tea instead of sugar, and take it looking at the stars.
Heal yourself with the kisses that the wind gives you and the hugs of the rain.
Get strong with bare feet on the ground and with everything that is born from it.
Get smarter every day by listening to your intuition, looking at the world with the eye of your forehead.
Jump, dance, sing, so that you live happier.
Heal yourself, with beautiful love, and always remember: you are the medicine.
Reminders
You are the medicine. Know your own medicine and what you offer. Not everyone will benefit from nor understand your medicine and gifts.
Some people will be unable or unwilling to understand you. Not everyone deserves to hear your stories. This includes: professors, mentors, supervisors, family, peers, and friends.
You are the most important part of therapeutic effectiveness. Grow more into the edges of yourself. Become more comfortable with yourself. Take up space. Expand and allow yourself the gift of becoming confident and comfortable in who you are and what you offer.
We are not meant to have all the answers. This is not possible. This is a myth. Our job is to be a container and hold a wide range of experiences, emotions, and thoughts. Cultivate greater ability to sit with the unknown, uncertainty and ambiguity as a container.
As a container for our jobs, we also need someone else or others to be a container for us like a therapist where the relationship is indeed more transactional. So we don’t have to worry about burdening others and allow ourselves to be honest.
Other times, we need social engagement and connections where the relationship is not transactional. It could be based on shared hobbies where the focus is more on doing something actionable. Perhaps it could be based on shared identities, experiences, or values where the power lies in similarities. Perhaps it’s with friends and family where joy, ease, and play is possible.
You can indeed self disclose to clients if you so wish. Do it with authenticity, judiciousness, care, and thought. Some clients will not enjoy appropriate self disclosure, but this will be an instrumental part of their own healing. Some clients will not and this is okay too. Remind yourself who will benefit from this type of disclosure as medicine.
Further Questions To Reflect On
How do I move toward congruence of who I am and what I offer as a therapist rather than perfection/a static idea/image of what a therapist should/needs to/is expected to be?
How do I define authenticity?
What is authentic to my innate nature?
What are my strengths?
What are my weaknesses or areas of growth (AKA growth edges)?
How does secrecy, silent, guilt, and shame impact my development as a person and therapist?
And more
Resources
Zerubavel N, Wright MO. The dilemma of the wounded healer. Psychotherapy (Chic). 2012 Dec;49(4):482-91. doi: 10.1037/a0027824. Epub 2012 Sep 10. PMID: 22962968. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22962968/