Generational Trauma Within Asian Families

Trauma can have a lasting impact on individuals and their families, shaping their experiences and influencing future generations.

In Asian families, generational trauma refers to the emotional and psychological burdens that are passed down from one generation to another.

These traumas can stem from historical events, cultural factors, or personal experiences, and their effects can manifest in various ways within the family unit.

Generational Vs. Intergenerational Trauma

Generational Trauma

Generational trauma refers to the emotional and psychological burdens passed down from one generation to the next (multiple generations over time).

This is often caused by historical events or shared cultural experiences that have profoundly affected a particular group of people.

For example, families who have endured war, genocide, or forced migration may carry the weight of these traumatic events through their descendants.

How Is Generational Trauma Passed Down?

Through stories, cultural practices, rituals, roles, customs, beliefs, or even inherited genetic factors (epigenetics).

The effects of generational trauma can include:

• Shared emotional distress (e.g. depression, anxiety, somatic/body issues)

• Shared behavioral patterns (e.g. avoiding conflicts, blaming others, using substances to numb emotions, overspending, overeating, not eating, overworking, distraction, addiction, problematic behaviors)

• Shared coping mechanisms (e.g. not asking for help, ruminating, internalizing thoughts,avoiding feelings, self harm, isolation)

Generational trauma can also influence the family's perception of the world, their cultural identity, and their ways of relating to others.

This can include:

Perception of the world

• Is the world a safe place?

• Can I trust others?

• Are others trustworthy?

• Will others hurt me?

Cultural Identity

• Who am I?

• Who am I when I’m by myself?

• Who am I when I’m with my family?

• How different or similar am I from my peers?

• Do I embrace my differences or do I want to be more similar to the majority culture?

Relating to self

• Do I like myself?

• How hard or easy is it for me to accept compliments?

• What are my expectations of myself? Are they realistic or extreme?

Relating to others

• Do I trust others?

• How do I trust others?

• How do I ask for what I need?

• Do I ask for what I need?

• Do I expect others to know what I need?

Intergenerational Trauma

Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of trauma between family members within one single generation.

Unlike generational trauma, it does not necessarily involve the inheritance of historical or cultural traumas. Instead, it usually comes from traumatic experiences faced by individuals within the family unit, such as abuse, neglect, addiction, or significant losses.

The effects of intergenerational trauma can ripple through the family, impacting relationships, emotional well-being, and behavioral patterns.

Example of Intergenerational Trauma & Its Impacts

A parent who experienced abuse during their childhood may struggle with trust and have difficulty forming healthy attachments with their own children.

These unresolved traumas can create negative cycles and patterns within the family, perpetuating the trauma across multiple generations.

Common Abusive & Neglectful Statements

• “What’s wrong with you? There’s something wrong with you.”

• “You’re stupid”

• “You’re useless”

• “You’re a waste of space”

• “You’re ungrateful”

• “You’re lazy”

• “I wasted my time raising you”

• “I wish I never had you”

• “I don’t like your physical trait/face/height/skin/etc.”

• “Why are you so overweight?”

• “You’re fat”

• “Why can’t you be more like X?”

• “I told you not to do that. You’re so dumb.”

• “You bring so much shame to our family.”

• “You’ll thank me when you’re older.”

• “I yell at you because I love you”

• “I micromanage you because you need it”

• “My parents also hit/yell at me. I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

• “I turned out fine and my parents didn’t hug/touch/validate me.”

• “You’re so sensitive. Why are you so sensitive?”

• “I brought you to the United States and this is how you repay me?”

Differences Between Generational & Intergenerational

The key distinction between generational and intergenerational trauma lies in the scope of time and the source of the trauma (one generation vs. multiple generations).

Generational trauma involves the transmission of historical or cultural traumas across several generations

Intergenerational trauma occurs within a single generation, passed down from parents to their children

Examples of Generational Trauma Transmission

Historical Trauma

• Japanese Internment/Concentration Camps

• Chinese Exclusion Act

• Cultural Revolution

• Comfort Women of World War II

• Partition of India

• Chinese Revolution & Chinese Civil War

• Cambodian Genocide (Khmer Rouge)

• The Korean War

• The Vietnam War

• Sri Lankan War

• Colonization of Native Americans

• Refugees & Forced Displacement

• War

• Genocide

• Acculturation Stress

• Resettlement Stress

• Isolation

• Racism & Perpetual Foreigner Syndrome

• And more

Unresolved Trauma

• Family Violence & Physical Abuse

• Childhood Sexual Abuse

• Emotional Abuse

• Emotional Neglect

• Sexual Assault & Violence

• Sex Trafficking

• Growing Up With Caregivers With Untreated Addiction & Substance Use Issues

• Growing Up With Caregivers With Untreated Mental Health Issues

• Adoption

• Growing Up In Foster Care

• Growing Up With A Family Member Who Is/Was Incarcerated

• Poverty & Scarcity

• Socioeconomic Class & Money

• Cultural Trauma

• Disrupted Families

• Grief & Loss

• And more

Effects of Intergenerational Trauma

• Negative physical health outcomes

• Impacted parenting

• Distrust and mistrust

• Higher rates of mental health issues in future generations (depression, anxiety)

• Silence

• Scarcity

• Shame

• Overworking

• Perfectionism

• Fear

• Avoidance

• Disassociation

• Lower sense of Self

• And more

What Can Help

• Open communication

  • If silence was the norm, talking about things openly and directly can be helpful

  • Practice open communication with low stakes people who you trust and love first before moving up to people who are unable/unwilling to respect your point of view/thoughts

  • This takes work and practice, so be patient with yourself

• Identifying, setting limits, and honoring personal boundaries

  • Identify your personal boundaries (what you like, dislike in terms of trust, mistrust, intimacy, esteem, etc.)

  • Saying no when you don’t want to do anything

  • Saying yes when you want to do something

  • Going no contact for a period of time/however long you want

  • Leaving a situation when you want to leave

  • And more

• Changing your boundaries when they change

  • Boundaries are not static

  • You can say no to something and later on, change your mind and say yes (and vice versa)

• Noticing your thoughts

  • When we grow up with parents/caregivers who speak to us in negative ways, this can create harm. For example, we may begin to believe we are unworthy, not good enough, or flawed.

  • In turn, we may start talking to ourselves and others in critical, demanding, shaming, attacking, and demeaning ways.

  • When do you tend to think or talk more negatively to yourself? When do you tend to think or talk more negatively to others?

    • Is there a pattern?

    • Is this around certain people?

    • Is this around certain environments or settings (e.g. work, home)?

  • How does talking to yourself in a negative way feel? Pleasant? Unpleasant?

  • What’s another way of thinking about this situation, person, or yourself?

  • Where do these thoughts come from? Are they old? Or new? Who’s voice is this?

• Naming, expressing and processing your emotions

  • Feeling the sensation of the feeling in your body

  • Identifying the word for your feeling(s)

  • Allowing yourself to naturally process the feeling(s) that come up (If you want to cry, cry)

  • And more

• Learn to ask for help

  • Human beings are not meant to heal in isolation

  • Self reliance is not possible 100% and the myth of rugged individualism is harmful

  • We are meant to rely on each other through mutual, satisfying, healthy relationships

  • Connections heal and increase positive feelings of well being

• Listen to your body more

  • Notice the sensations in and around your body

  • Notice the feelings that arise when certain experiences occur

  • Our bodies gives us data just as our mind/brain does

• Slow down and practice curiosity

  • This helps us increase cognitive flexibility rather than automatic reaction

  • Flexibility is a different experience than binary thoughts or extreme thoughts

  • Curiosity fosters compassion and care

• Take good care of yourself (mind body culture spirit)

  • Consider how your lifestyle impacts your well being

  • This can include: adequate amounts of sleep, nutrition, regular movement/exercise, healthy relationships/connections, decreasing stress as much as possible, avoiding overuse of substances like alcohol and drugs, spirituality, and more

• Have a daily practice

  • Do something everyday to nourish and ground yourself

  • This can be: walking, yoga, mindfulness, meditation, exercising, writing, journaling, gratitude, drawing, etc.

• Talk to a friend or someone you trust

  • Internalizing all our thoughts and feelings long term can be harmful to our well beings

  • Sharing our internal world with others we trust and love is a great way to experience carthasis and feel less alone

• Learn more about generational and intergenerational trauma

  • Read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos

  • Education fosters self awareness and increases insight (why we do what we do)

• Seek out support groups

  • This can help you feel less alone which in turn can decrease feelings of guilt and shame

• Seek our professional help like a licensed therapist

  • Sometimes, seeking help from someone trained in generational and intergenerational trauma is helpful because this is their job

  • Having a therapist means there are boundaries in place which can help you take care of yourself better, worry less about if the therapist is impacted by your experiences/stories/feelings, process relationship dynamics in a healthy way, and having a place where you aren’t judged and instead validated

How Therapy Can Help

• Giving you knowledge and education and what could be happening. This is called psychoeducation.

• Creating healthier and satisfying relationships. This can be surprising for many people who are used to neglectful, abusive relationships to witness and experience healthy relationships based on healthy boundaries.

• Becoming a cycle breaker. Taking the parts of your upbringing, culture, and family you appreciate and discarding the parts you do not.

• Learning assertive and open communication. Talking about experiences, whether negative or positive, in the present moment is powerful, rather than silence or internalizing experiences.

• Naming, processing, and feeling emotions.

• Understanding your personal boundaries

• Reconciling, exploring, and creating your unique cultural identity.

• Tolerating uncertainty, ambiguity, and not knowing with greater ease and calm.

• Learning your sense of Self is not 100% tied to your family

• Learning tools and skills to manage overwhelming thoughts and feelings.

• Having a space entirely for you to unpack, explore, and take up for you. There’s no need to take care of your therapist in therapy.

• Encouraging you to share your own experiences and stories in a way you feel comfortable leading to more freedom, liberation, and peace. Some people write books or blogs. Others dance, while others cook, act, sing, or become peer leaders in their communities.