More Signs You May Notice As You’re Healing From Trauma
Recovery & Healing Is…
An ongoing process and journey
You don’t really finish healing per se
Triggers, activation, intense emotions, and negative thoughts do not go away or disappear, but as you recover, the intensity, severity, and length of time they occur decrease
As more time passes and the more you work on it, you’ll be able to have more distance, accept, grieve, and accept what has happened
You will have increased and more options, choices, agency, and an increased sense of internal power, resilience, and strength
You will make meaning from the past experiences in some way
You will heal, grow, transform, and change in new positive ways rather than being “stuck”
Unique and personal for each person
On a continuum not something to achieve and be done with
MORE/GREATER ABILITY TOWARD
Connection to your body and sensations
Connection to your values (who and what matters most to you)
Work toward your values (who and what matters most to you)
Acceptance of what is (radical acceptance) vs. how you want things to do (false control and rigidity)
Ability to accept compliments
Ability to take up space
Ability to accept compliments and kindness
Ability to sit in silence
Ability to stay in the present moment
Ability to enjoy a life of ease and calm
Ability to incorporate/integrate past adverse experiences into your life in a healthier manner
And more
Somatic/Bodily
You feel safer/more safe inside your body
Less hyper vigilant
Less fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses
Less sense of urgency and rushing
Less people pleasing tendencies
You can identify and locate what safety feels like for you inside of your body
You are able to notice you have a body
You feel your feet on the ground and that you can walk or run away when you feel unsafe
You feel the length of your back and what it’s like to sit and stand up right
You feel your fingers, hands, and arms
You understand you have a mouth and use it to express your needs/wants in an assertive manner
You understand you have a nose and use it to anchor yourself to breathe more deeply and intently
Etc.
You can feel and sense things more inside of your body
Less recoiling from physical touch like hugs
Greater ability to be touched by others you trust and love
Greater ability to utilize self touch when overwhelmed or stressed
Less disconnection from your body such as:
Derealization
Depersonalization
Relationally
You can trust some people more in depth
You still don’t trust some people who don’t deserve your trust and/or you don’t feel entirely safe with (and that’s okay)
You have greater capacity to trust in your relationship skills and use them when needed such as
Saying no when you don’t want to do something
Saying yes when you do want to do something
Telling someone your personal boundaries and limits
Clarifying what you previously told someone because boundaries shift and change all the time
Changing your personal boundaries and limits with time and practice
And more
You can ask for help more often from others (instead of doing everything yourself)
You can practice being more vulnerable with others you trust and love (instead of believing vulnerability is useless or unnecessary 100% of the time)
You can recognize more clearly if someone is safe or not to trust
Through practice and repetition
Trusting yourself and your instincts
Asking others you trust about others and using some of their feedback, but really relying on youself
You are more able to state your limits/boundaries to others
You have greater ability to reflect versus reacting
You are more able to tolerate silence during conversations
You are more able to pause and reflect what you really want to convey and say to someone else
You can identify what sort of friendships and relationships matter to you
You work more toward having the types of friendships and relationships that matter to you
Psychologically
A decrease in and less:
Anxiety symptoms
Depression symptoms
Hopelessness
Rumination and overthinking
Spiraling and catastrophizing
Mind reading and assuming
Suicidality
And more
Emotionally
You recognize your own emotions in the present moment
You feel your emotions/process your emotions in the moment
You can regulate and manage overwhelming feelings
You validate your own emotions and feelings
You understand emotions are useful and give you data just like thoughts do, but in a different way
You can feel intense emotions without the whole work burning down/feeling overwhelmed/feeling dysregulated
You can feel a wide range of feelings (not just “negative” ones)
You have greater ability to feel joy, peace, calm, ease, happiness, contentment, etc.
Identity & Self
You trust in yourself more
You have more trust in your choices you make
You have more trust in the things you like to do
You have more trust in your dislikes and likes
Etc.
You have a higher sense of Self (Self esteem, Self worth, Self confidence, Self love, Self acceptance)
Less self-blame/self-judgement/self-criticism/self-demand
Greater ability to practice honesty and authenticity
Greater ability to state your needs/limits/boundaries without intense guilt and shame
Greater ability to practice compassion and kindness to Self and others
Less over working and overfunctioning
Less under functioning
You like yourself more (all parts of you)
You love yourself a little more (all parts of you)
You might even love yourself unconditionally one day
Decreased self sabotage tendencies
Decreased foreshortened future beliefs and perspective
Believing you will die young or soon
You have a more positive outlook on life
You have greater ability to plan for the future
You believe you have a future
You have more reasons to be joyful
You practice more gratitude
You accept more parts of yourself
You recognize more parts of yourself
Insight & Awareness
You understand your personal triggers
You recognize when you are triggered
You are more able to reflect versus reacting
You recognize what brings you joy
You have a self care and wellness plan
You have daily practices you engage in that make you feel food, joyful, and help you function day to day
You engage in prevention work versus intervention work
Seeking help, taking care of yourself, sleeping 7-8 hours a day, eating regularly, decreasing stress versus waiting until things are bad, internalizing your thoughts and feelings, avoiding and distracting yourself most of the time, etc.
You understand your patterns of using psychological defenses/survival strategies including:
Intellectualizing
Rationalizing
Avoidance
Distraction
Displacement
Projection
Etc.
Less engaging in intimacy avoidance behaviors such as
Shopping
Gambling
Sex
Under eating
Over eating/binge eating
Alcohol and other drugs
Substances
Etc.
Engaging in more adaptive skills when you feel overwhelmed and stressed such as:
Asking for help
Sharing more of your thoughts with others
Sharing more of your feelings with others
Attending therapy sessions
Going for a walk
Exercising
Strength training
Journaling
Practicing emotion regulation skills
Seeing a friend
Limited distraction such as listening to music, watching tv, etc.
Practicing mindfulness
And more
Cognitions/Thoughts
You are able to notice your thoughts without judgement and reactivity
You are more able to “catch” your negative thoughts when you spiral and ruminate
You are more able to introduce new more positive and realistic thoughts
Greater ability to notice your inner critic/judger and what sort of corresponding thoughts come with them
Greater acceptance of your thoughts rather than fighting/wishing your thoughts away/avoiding/comparing your thoughts
Understanding that we all have thoughts and most of these thoughts are negative and from the previous day
Understanding we do not have to be ruled/controlled by our thoughts
Less negative thoughts
Catastrophic thoughts
Binary/black and white thoughts
Over generalizing thoughts
Labeling thoughts
Jumping to conclusions
Read My Other Blog Posts on Trauma